Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
