I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I didn't notice because vodka
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
