I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
