I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
