I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My vagina is very pro this idea
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
