After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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