We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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