So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
last night I used snow as a chaser
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
