I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
