THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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