I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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