my room smells like sperm. sweet.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Two words: blizzard sex
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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