dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize