well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
