Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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