I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Your cock deserves a montage
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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