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At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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