I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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