I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
