North Korea, Best Korea!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
