What a fucking waste of an outfit
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
