Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
