Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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