This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
