Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
