I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
