Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
