discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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