They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
