I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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