Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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