Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
