I think i peed on brittanys purse
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
