we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
