Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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