For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
