Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
