Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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