I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
