neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
