I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
