marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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