I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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