so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize