ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
