If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
