In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
At least make sure they are 18
Why
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
