ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
