it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he fucked my hip out of place.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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