: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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