Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
