just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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