some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think your dad took our porno
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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