do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
