Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
