how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
