he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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