after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
