mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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