No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I will pee on everything he values.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
