He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
