im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
