my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize