I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
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